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Post by jimolson on Oct 6, 2006 5:56:55 GMT -5
Those are all great!!!
jim
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Post by jimolson on Oct 6, 2006 15:36:07 GMT -5
if....
you have ever been shown a mineral specimem far superior to your own and said.. "yeah, but did you dig that one yourself?"
a local museum has one or more of your finds on loan for display.
you have ever considered U.S. customs to be a draw back to a good dig
you have ever said "and this is what they are driving over!"
you have ever said.. "let's see what the cat drug up" (Good one Steve!)
you have ever stood in a knee deep frozen over puddle at the bottom of mine pit in December and felt lucky to be there.
you have several hundred dollars worth of mining equipment and have thought... "what I really need for this dig is..."
the local harware store calls you when the new inventory comes in.
you know what it costs to rent a Cat and you are looking for a place to have it delivered to.
the local hardware store has told you "your cut off... there is a cab waiting"
you keep the most recent copies of Rock & Gem, Lapidary journal, Gold prospector and the Min Rec in the bathroom (library)
you own a generator and a converter so that you can opperate a cabbing machine on site at a dig or, having seen it done, are trying to fit the afore mentioned in with the rest of your mining gear.
you have ever unearthed a crystal by (ahem) "hydralic mining" (so to speak)
you have ever emptied the dirt out of your boots and found the best crystal (piece of gold) of the day
you have ever said.... "if it were me I dig here.." and then said a thank you to the sky above you when they turned up a crystal - and the third time it happened in the same day you began looking for the thunderbolt.
you have ever watched your dog dig and thought... "If I could only get him to aim for the screenbox."
you can say "nice find" in clear and distinct tones while gritting your teeth.
you look at the ubiquitous butt prints in the tailing piles (almost redundant) the same way that a pirate looks at an "X" on a treasure map.
OK, that is my input for today (trying to keep up with Cathy and Pat)
C'mon team we have a book to get out!!!
jim
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Post by catannc on Oct 6, 2006 20:25:29 GMT -5
If you have a change jar in your house labeled 'Dig Money'.
If while walking through the mineral display at a museum you've been heard to exclaim, "that's nothing, I have one twice that size at home!"
You have dreams about unearthing crystals.
You have nightmares about being unable to recover crystals without shattering them.
You've ever experienced a rockfall. In your house.
When you feel the need to have guests visiting you home sign a waiver warning them of the possibility of a rockfall.
When you open up your bathroom/kitchen cabinets, rocks falls out.
When you buy an inferior brand of catlitter, just because it comes in a large plastic bucket.
When the main reason for your working out with weights is to be able to wield a larger sledgehammer on the next dig.
If you've ever spent an evening on EBay perusing the specimens listed.
When the most valuable item you own is a rock.
When you call up relatives you haven't spoken to in years to arrange a visit, mainly because they live near a great dig.
When you can recite all the possible alterations of any given rock and the conditions under which they would occur.
Jim, Pat: Tag, you're it!
Cathy
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Post by jimolson on Oct 8, 2006 8:26:54 GMT -5
No - we need everyones help! What really need is professional help.
Chime in everyone - So far we have 162 entries (uneditied) and we still need more.
We also need illustrations!!!
Rick says he like the idea but he seemed kind nervous being that his computer is down and he has not been able to read the posts. I assured him that all of the "Blue" posts were reserved for private emails.
Pat & Cathy - Would you be interested in helping review the list and giving your thoughts organizing the listings for greatest comedic impact? If so send me an email and I'll get you a copy of the compiled list to work with.
jim
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Post by catannc on Oct 8, 2006 11:24:19 GMT -5
You can't make a dig, so you ask a friend to bring back a bucket of dirt for you to search through. You come home from a dig to a houseful of your closest friends and family, who have scheduled an intervention to address your "problem". Cathy
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Post by catannc on Oct 8, 2006 18:27:02 GMT -5
You have a hard time restraining yourself from taking a sledgehammer to your neighbor's landscaping boulders.
You've spent hours studying a topo map, cursing the USGS for their inability to plot any mine/quarry smaller than an aircraft carrier.
You have a notebook filled with "hints and clues," taken from outdated mineral publications that you are sure will one day lead you to the mother-of-all lost sites.
When the Head of the Geology Dept. at your college wants to have a sit-down with you to find out where to go dig.
When you've had a run-in with a shotgun toting local at a site you've found, yet you still plan on going back there to dig.
You've been so involved in digging the hole you're in you haven't realized it's too deep for you to now climb out of.
You make friends with someone in the construction/general contracting industry to take advantage of their access to heavy machinery and empty buckets.
You have 2 groups of clothing, one of which you're not allowed to bring in the house.
You know enough not to even bother vacuuming out your vehicle anymore.
Cathy
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Post by catannc on Oct 8, 2006 19:27:36 GMT -5
You get excited when you see a load of rip-rap being dumped.
The side of your house where you display your collection appears to be settling at an accelerated rate.
While walking around at a rock show, most vendors greet you by name.
Cathy
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Post by claycat on Oct 9, 2006 7:57:27 GMT -5
You might be a rockhound if you teach your kids the A,B,C's and it goes like this
A is for Amethyst B is for Beryl C is for Corundum
When you scratch your head dirt and grit fall out.
You have the oddest assortment of tan line, none from a bathing suit.
You have to clean your washer of sludge and pick out the stray rocks between loads.
There is no reasone to have a manicure because you know it won't last through the weekend.
You tell your children to make their own Thanksgiving dinner because you will be at Crabtree.
Your children have to consult your calendar for open dates if they want to see you.
Cathy S.
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Post by claycat on Oct 9, 2006 8:58:56 GMT -5
you dumpster dive for bubblewrap.
you are trying to figure out how to attach ninja climbing claws to your digging glove.
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Post by stevebarr on Oct 9, 2006 11:33:29 GMT -5
You might be a rockhound if….
A fellow rockhound asks if they can take a picture of your kitchen to show to their wife so they can tell her, "It could be a lot worse, honey…."
You walk into a convenience store after a dig at Graves Mountain with a blood-stained rag wrapped around your thumb and the employees ask if they should call an ambulance.
The police stop you along the road and refuse to search your vehicle because they don't want to get dirty.
You finally recover from a weekend of digging on Friday, just in time to go do it all again the next day.
You can't walk around your house in the dark because you might stub your toe on a crystal…again.
The construction crew working on a new road cut has to keep asking you to move out of the way of their bulldozer.
Every time friends visit your house, you have to search them and inventory your collection before you can let them leave.
You've ever found a nice specimen in the mud under your fingernails.
You get home from a dig, undress to shower and your pants stand up on their own.
The local landfill refuses to accept your old socks, suggesting that they should be disposed of with the other hazardous waste.
You jump into the front seat of your truck and are instantly surrounded by clouds of dirt.
You never bother taking your vehicle to a carwash, because "what's the use?"....it's only going to get dirty again in a day or two.
You have discussions around the campfire about whether or not "bigger is better", and you're talking about rocks.
When you blow your nose, you search through the dirt for gems.
Your own mother refuses to hug you when you come home from a dig.
You spend a day chipping the dried mud off of your boots and find a great amethyst specimen.
Your hands are dripping with blood, your clothes are torn and covered in clay, every muscle in your body is in agony, you are totally dehydrated.....and you find yourself thinking, "This has been the best day of my life."
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Post by jimolson on Oct 9, 2006 13:52:20 GMT -5
Keep'em coming team - we are over 200 and I am only including the ones we have come up with! So - does anyone want to illustrate this project? jim
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Post by catannc on Oct 9, 2006 13:57:42 GMT -5
You find a rock, and since there is no ready source of water available, you lick it clean.
Cathy
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Post by romare on Oct 9, 2006 14:07:12 GMT -5
Alright, here are a few more... gotta work a little now. More later. ______________
Your kids are named Jewel, Amethyst, and Ruby.
You've ever carried a specimen and a toothbrush into the shower with you to clean.
Your license plate says "HEXAGONAL"
Your vehicle mileage ranges from 23 MPG to 12 MPG depending on whether you are going to or coming from a dig.
You never go ANYWHERE without at least your minimal collecting tools.
Your favorite author is John Sinkankas.
You can recite from memory the Moh's hardness scale.
If you can estimate length in numbers of quarters better than inches...
If you've ever spent the entire night lying on your side in cold mud with your arm completely immersed in a hole to the shoulder trying to remove a specimen.
If you lie down at night to sleep after a dig and visions of crystal forms permeate your brain...
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Post by jimolson on Oct 9, 2006 15:09:57 GMT -5
Cathy please remember that some of us are mere mortals. LOL
jim
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Post by claycat on Oct 9, 2006 15:29:38 GMT -5
Jim, I am up for some illustration. Since everyone is contributing to the sayings we could have a collection of their cartoons too. You don't have to be an artist to do a funny cartoon. That's part of what makes them funny!
Cathy S.
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Post by jimolson on Oct 9, 2006 15:35:34 GMT -5
Cathy S. - GREAT!!!!! Should I send you the unedited compiled list then? If so email me off list.
jim
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Post by geodepat on Oct 9, 2006 21:10:51 GMT -5
Bribe your spouse so you can go to a dig.
Get home from a dig at 3 P.M. and have your truck reloaded and ready for next week's dig by 4 P.M.
Wear long sleeved shirts to cover up your cuts and bruises so your spouse won't think rockhounding is dangerous.
You know you might be an old rockhound if...
You go to a dig and know you have better things in your collection than what you are picking up so you give it to newbies.
You are considered to be a fossil.
Your camping gear includes a bucket, and not for rocks.
You spend more time in the parking lot talking to people than digging for rocks.
Your pants are voted the cleanest. You never win the dirty rockhound award.
You don't suffer from crystal envy.
You speak and everyone listens, cause your collection is better than some museums.
You might be a new rockhound if...
You pick up everything you see, cause it all looks good to you.
You bring a hammer and chisel and the hammer is too small.
You suffer from crystal envy.
Your pants are the dirtiest and you win the award for dirty rockhound.
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Post by snakewrangler on Oct 10, 2006 0:32:20 GMT -5
-You spend more time diggin in one day than you do studying for all the tests in a semester combined.
-You have ever day dreamed about diggin while taking a test
-Your mother/spouse threaten to throw all of your rocks out if you don't move them.
-Your local hardware store give you dicounts on hammers, chisles, super iron out, etc...
-You take your finds to college with you so that you aren't lonely.
-Your college roomate is ready to kill you because he cann't take a shower because your rocks are in it.
-You spend all of your spare time researching new sites to dig at.
-You have made modifications to your diggin equipment because you notice a design flaw or something that will help you.
-You custom make your own diggin equipment.
-You home has more rocks than square feet to house them.
-You have a bathroom in your house totaly detecated to clean rocks.
Kyle
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Post by snakewrangler on Oct 10, 2006 11:46:11 GMT -5
Come on Yall we have to help Jim put a book together. There are many more to be thought of.
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Post by damammy on Oct 10, 2006 16:39:36 GMT -5
If when looking for a new car, you end up with a van because the seats will come out and you can load all your camping gear and a large amount of rocks.
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Post by geodepat on Oct 10, 2006 17:17:10 GMT -5
Your suv has 4 seats in it but you've never seen the back 2 since you folded them down and loaded your digging and camping equipment.
You get mad at Rick for not posting the fieldtrip reports fast enough.
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Post by stevebarr on Oct 10, 2006 17:32:33 GMT -5
Pat - You have to pardon poor Riccardo for not posting the fieldtrip reports fast enough....a nasty old virus got into his computer and he's still getting it repaired. We'll hear from him soon. Boy...with all the trips we've done lately, he's gonna have his hands full when he tries to catch up!
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Post by snakewrangler on Oct 10, 2006 20:57:07 GMT -5
-You cann't study for a Chemistry Mid-Term for thinking about rocks. -You wish the weekend was here so that you can go diggin. -You have a toolbox and no tools, its just a way to display your rocks -You drive 12 hrs just to swing a hammer for 3 days. (Dave) -You have to move rocks just to go to bed. -You keep an old stack of newspaper in your truck just in case you see a rock that needs to be rapped. -You think that newspapers are for rapping and not reading. -You would rather go diggin than go to a concert, on a cruise, or go to work. -You would miss a spring break trip to the beach to go diggin. -Your book bag is always full of rocks. -You have ever been acused of destorying the bolders in your neigbors yards. -You tow a trailer everywhere you go because your truck is already full of rocks. -Your best friends are MAGMA members. -You have ever played sick to get out of work so you could go diggin. -You have ADD : Amythest, Rutile, Rubies, Kyanite, Emeralds, ect. . -You cann't write or type after a weekend of diggin because your arm hurts from swinging a hammer. -The floor in your house falls through because there are too many rocks in one spot. Come on Yall help Jim put this book together. Kyle
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Post by snakewrangler on Oct 12, 2006 12:21:09 GMT -5
Have all of Yall ran out of ideas? Come on, there are a million more to be thought of.
Kyle
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Post by catannc on Oct 13, 2006 14:56:45 GMT -5
You can see the needle on your gas gauge get lower with every mile you travel on the way home from a dig.
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Post by ranmarock on Oct 13, 2006 15:23:01 GMT -5
- You've every cursed that your car/truck broke down and you couldn't make it to the dig....... but praised you broke down near a roadcut!
- You've ever stood there waiting for someone to give up on an area... and thanked them for doing the hard work when they left!
- You've come up with one of these jokes for it to be put into a book!
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Post by stevebarr on Oct 14, 2006 4:18:16 GMT -5
You know you're a rockhound if….
You've ever tried to pay your income tax with rocks.
You have a bumper sticker on your car that says, "You can have my rocks when you can pry them from my cold, dead hands."
You've ever called off an engagement because your fiancée wanted to use one of your shelf specimens in her ring.
You've been caught digging for specimens in the flowerbed outside the local sheriff's office.
You've ever "mud wrestled" with a child to get a specimen away from him, and lost.
You have to use your chisel to get the mud off your boots at the end of every weekend.
You missed your own bachelor party to go on a dig.
You've ever considered surgery to shorten your legs so you'll be closer to the ground.
You can't remember the last time your fingernails looked clean.
You go to a rock swap and sale and don't see anything better than what you've got at home.
You've ever written to the Smithsonian Institute to brag that you have better rutile than they do!
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Post by pegmatite on Oct 15, 2006 7:07:30 GMT -5
You have more than one pair of knee pads.
You can walk blindfolded to the Super Iron Out and Oxalic Acid at the local hardware store.
You can explain micromount to someone.
Your photo albums could be used to teach an Introduction to Geology class.
Your computer keyboard is clogged with rock chips, not dust.
Your hand tools have been sprayed with fluorescent paint.
Your've ever photographed a rock.
You know what a perky box is.
You have ever lamented upon the effect of high oil prices on micromount and perky box costs.
You know there is such a thing as longwave and shortwave ultraviolet light.
Your driveway has gravel from multiple states and can be used to illustrate sedimentary, metamorphic, and igneous rocks.
You routinely use a 15 pound sledge for recreation.
You've ever questioned the labeling at a local museum.
You know what a Type Locality is.
Your personal calendar lists digs, mineral shows, dealer updates, and auction close dates.
You've ever scratched a window to test hardness.
You've ever "streaked" with a piece of unfinished porcelin.
You look forward to your next trip to the dump.
You've ever examined driveway gravel on your hands and knees.
You've ever considered purchasing a jack hammer for personal and recreational use.
Your backpack routinely weighs more when you return from a trip than when you leave.
You have to vaccum out your backpack before loading it to friends.
You've ever looked for rocks in the dark.
You have rocks in more than three rooms in your house.
You have more toothbrushes in your truck and outbuilding than your bathroom.
Your 5-year old knows the difference between muscovite and biotite.
Steve
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Post by jimolson on Oct 16, 2006 5:56:07 GMT -5
Hey Rick! I know you have at least one or two to add to the list.
Steve has sent in the first animation for the book and it is great!!!
Let's keep it going team - I really think this will turn out great!
jim
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Post by claycat on Oct 16, 2006 8:21:19 GMT -5
Hey Jim, did you get my e-mail. Didn't know how else to contact you.
Cathy S.
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